Hoist's Hollywood Corner
Good evening, ladies and gentleman! Hollywood insider Hoist here live from Prime's shower bringing you the latest information on the Transformers in media. Why Prime's shower? Well, he never comes in here. Have you seen that energon bath he has? Can't say I blame him...
Okay, and so maybe it's not exactly the latest information, but cut me some slack. I'm working with a cartoon that's 16 years old! Some of that stuff is as fresh as the ol' Watercloset after Rhinox returns from seeing the scenic Bean Vine National Forest. Still, I hope that you see this page as an exciting look into the world of Transformer cartoons, noticing things you may not have noticed before. How about we just jump right in, hmm?
Haiku Reviews
There are tons and tons of episode reviews and critiques and bloopers out there. Given that and the fact that I couldn't write what is traditionally viewed as a review if my life depended on it, these are a little different. In addition to the usual rating and brief critique of the plot, there's a haiku that, I hope, will describe my feelings in seventeen syllables. And added for good measure will be some great quotes, a short list of things eastablished as canon (or "Canon Fodder"), and a profile of a character or two.
Generation One
Beast Wars
Beast Machines
Robots in Disguise
Armada
The Wheelies
The kid gets no respect, so I've made an award out of him. Okay, the truth is "Trannies" was already taken and I know that no-talent hack, Skullgrin, would eat me alive if I called it the "Hoisties" so...
THE WHEELIES it is. This is a totally arbitrary award given by yours truly for the characters in starring and supporting roles in each episode. It's not the character I like best, or Starscream, BW Megatron, or BMac Thrust would win everytime they appeared on the screen. It's basically a credit to the voice actor and animators for the wonderful job they did bringing the character to life. I'll list each character that had some kind of starring role, supporting role, or walk-on, and give a Wheelie to one 'bot in each of the starring and supporting roles. Just to show I'm not biased, I won't include myself...unless I do a really good job of course.
Skullgrin, stop looking at me like that. And put the ketchup down.
Generation One
Beast Wars
Beast Machines
No Talent Hacks!
Okay, they have talent, just wanted to get your attention. These are the unsung heroes (or villains in some cases) of the Transformers cartoons, the writers that really bring us to life. This section details the writers of each episode, how many shows they have written, how many of the three different series' they wrote for (yes, there are some that wrote for "The Transformer," "Beast Wars," and "Beast Machines"), and their overall rating for all of the episodes they've written.
The Writers
It's a Little Known Fact...
...is Hoist gone? Good. Geez, that guy couldn't act his way out of a tin can. Skullgrin, a real actor, here. There's a lot of interesting things going on behind the scenes of the Transformers Universe. Most of the real juicy stuff doesn't even make to the small screen. But me, I've got all the inside information. I've got scenes cut from episodes, who that 'bot was sneaking around with Elita when Optimus was looking, lots of good stuff. Some people call this a slanderous tabloid spouting lies only to have people read it. Nothing could be further from the truth. Just to prove it, read the first installment. I think we'll know the truth then.
IaLKF - 11/22/00
IaLKF - 10/17/00
Special Announcement - 10/17/00
IaLKF - 6/15/00
Special Announcement - 6/15/00
IaLKF - 6/9/00
IaLKF - 5/18/00
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