It's a Little Known Fact...
October 17, 2000
There's been a lot of concern (known to me as "bitching") from the editor, a certain no-talent green Autobot mechanic who shall remain nameless, that the recent Facts have been centered on the Autobots, casting them in a poor light. In my own defense, the information produced has been from my Autobot insider. Besides, the Autobots don't need my help to look like idiots. Anyway, to prove I have no bias in such matters, this paricular article will be primarily about the Decepticons.
Charr.
It's a rather infamous world. It's a little known burned-out planet somewhere between BFE and the middle of nowhere. The question is, how did the noble Decepticons end up on a planet so desolate? Simple. Soundwave led them there. Why? Because it's a little known fact that Soundwave is the proud owner of little establishment called "The Har Har Bar of Charr," a little hole-in-the-wall karoke bar and comic club smack dab in the middle of Charr. Soundwave acquired the place after losing a bet.
Here's how it went down. On a routine stop, Soundwave dropped in to sample some of the energon at this bar. It's a little known fact that when Soundwave has too much to drink, he talks at a mile a minute. I mean, the guy just doesn't shut up. Blurr tells him to put a sock in it. Anyway, Soundwave starts talking to the owner, who was sitting next to him, and starts going on and on about how he has the creepiest laugh that anybody had ever heard. While I will admit that Soundwave's laugh is disturbing, he didn't know who the owner of the bar was: George W. Bush. That, folks, is a creepy laugh. Well, Dubya was looking for a way to unload the place and proposed a bet, the loser taking ownership of the bar. Needless to say, Soundwave lost the creepy laugh bet hands down and thus acquired "The Har Har Bar of Charr."
I know what your thinking. You saw the movie. The Decepticons were on the business end of a smackdown from Unicron and the Autobots. Well yeah, that's how they lost Cybertron, but that doesn't explain choosing Charr. Well, Soundwave was desperate to get customers to his newly-acquired rathole. So, after getting their butts handed to them, Soundwave suggested that the Decepticons go get a drink, saying he knew this great little place where no one would disturb them. Distracted by losing the recent battle, they forgot to pick a designated driver and thus had to stay on Charr.
And really, when you think about it, how often did you see a Decepticon that wasn't Galvatron, Cyclonus, or Scourge in the third season? Hardly ever. Why, you ask? Because they were always at Soundwave's "Har Har Bar of Charr." Home of great food, great friends, great times. Where you don't have to be a Decepticon communicator to carry a tune. Be sure to check out the special on Cajun Energon Kickers, only $2.99.
So I plugged the damn place. Soundwave pays pretty well...
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