6/9/00
It's a little known fact that the Autobots and Decepticons didn't crash on Earth because of some epic battle that sent them plunging to sure deaths. Oh no, that was just an all-too-convenient cover story developed to keep Elita and the rest of Alpha Trion's Angels from finding out they spent 4 million years, give or take a month or two, in a drunken stooper. Here's how it went down. There was a cease fire called. Optimus and the rest of the boys decided to celebrate by hopping over to the best bar in the universe, [censored by Optimus Prime], to down a couple of pints of energon. In a related little know fact, female robots have hormones too. And boy were Elita's in full swing. Optimus looked at the bar hop as an excuse to get away from his bawling-one-minute-brawling-the-next girlfriend. But Optimus couldn't tell her that. Thus the development of a cover story: they were going out to find an energy source. And what an "energy source" they found! Two parts of the cover-up were true, however. The crash and the Decepticons being there. Trailbreaker, is his excitement to get away from his own ball-and-chain, started the festivities a little early. He stumbled into the controls and spilled his mixed drink on the controls. The little pink umbrella got lodged in the data port and the ship was sent plummeting to the ground. As for the Decepticons, Megatron, hearing the stories of the Autobots adventures at [censored by Optimus Prime], decided to crash the party and find the place himself. Seeing the Autobot's ship plummet to Earth, he naturally thought this was location of the bar. He parked the Decepticon's ship in the ocean and the Decepticons went to the Ark's location. What they found was the party to end all parties. The volcano was another fabulous bar, set back into the backwater area where the galactic police rarely came to bust the place up. The energon flowed like...well, energon. Strobe lights and disco balls lit the night sky. The party lasted an entire year. The Transformers trashed the place over time and, eventually, they all passed out. Four million years later, they woke up and every single one of them looked at their watches and said "Oh shit!" They concocted the story to cover up the impressively long hangover, but disagreed on some key elements (Megatron denies it was about him throwing up all over himself). A fight ensued and the cease fire was over. For years, the war raged on Earth and Cybertron. Megatron has yearned to return to Cybertron however. He was quoted as saying "If I could remember where I parked the damn ship we'd have left already."