If Tomorrow Never Comes

Blades stared up at the stars again and repressed a sigh. Primus, this is boring, he thought. Why the slag did they have to crash on this forsaken planet? One little meteor was all it took to divert the small craft Blades had been flying to a crash on the most backward world he'd been on yet. Lots of trees and no sign of civilization. What was worse, the two-person craft had taken a dive into a massively deep chasm filled with dense foliage. After nabbing the homing beacon, Blades had tried to lift himself and the other passenger back to the surface. About halfway up, darkness and a powerful canyon breeze thwarted the attempt and Blades was forced to land on a rocky alcove. And there they stayed.

Blades looked over at Groove calmly contemplating the stars above, his passive face illuminated by three flares that sat between them. Most of the night had already passed wordlessly, signified by the barely noticeable lightening of the sky in the past minutes. How can he just sit there, Blades thought. Groove always seemed untouchable to Blades, like he was on another whole plane of existence. Most of the time Blades was around him, Groove was just thinking about stuff. It made Blades uncomfortable for some reason. Just a case of different personalities, he supposed. In fact, of all of the Protectobots, Groove was probably the one that Blades didn't know well. And, of course, luck had to deal him this hand, stuck on an alien planet with nothing to do and with only one other being that was so different from him that there was nothing to even talk about even if Blades felt like it.

In the distance, a creature emitted a sharp shrill. After several seconds, another creature returned the call. Blades watched Groove as he picked up his head, listened for more of the unintelligible conversation, and laid his head back again to stare at the stars. Blades fidgeted uncomfortably. Figures, he thought, the only conversation going on, I can't even understand. Different plane of not, Blades couldn't take doing nothing any longer.

He nudged Groove's shoulder and said, "Hey, how can you just lie there like that?"

Groove sat up and looked evenly at Blades. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, how can you just lie there? Doesn't it drive you batty not doing anything?

"I am doing something."

Blades sighed. "What are you doing?"

Groove smiled. "Just thinking." He paused for a moment and looked back at the stars. "Don't you wonder sometimes if a world exists that there is only peace? Someplace with no fighting or war."

"Sounds kinda boring..."

Groove grunted and said, "Maybe, but I'd much rather be bored than at war."

Blades let the subject go for a moment. I had to get stuck with Groove and his philosophical smelting, he thought. Just as he was going to lay back and turn off his optics, Groove spoke again.

"Why would you be bored?"

"Well, there wouldn't be anything to do."

"Oh, please," Groove said, shaking his head. "There is plenty to do besides fight an everlasting war. I would rather sit in an empty room for eternity with nothing to do if it meant this war would end."

"That would drive me crazy," Blades grunted. "You wouldn't go crazy in there?"

"Probably, yes, but it would still be worth every second of the madness. In reality, I wouldn't be put in such a situation anyway, so it's silly to even say such a thing. If peace were to suddenly drop upon us, rest assured I would have little trouble finding something more productive to do with my time."

After Blades had time to soak this in, Groove stared into Blades optics. "You probably think I don't know anything about you, do you?"

Blades blinked, confused. "Well, yeah, how could you? We've hardly said two words to each other before we crashed here."

Groove shrugged. "You can learn some things about people by just observing. You're hardly an open book, but I can deduce some things. You're independent and innovative. With those two alone, I'm pretty sure you'd find something to do if the war ended today." Groove stared into the blackness of the foliage around them. The first, distant creature tried again to speak with his friend. "Not that you have to worry about that."

"That's not something I'd expect to hear from a pacifist," Blades said with a smile.

"I may be a pacifist, but I'm also a realist," Groove returned, looking back to the Protectobot. "I can dream until Primus' coming about living without war. Usually, I just don't even bother."

Blades leaned forward. "So what do you do when you go out on those little joy rides of yours? I always thought you were dreaming up peaceful endings to the war and stuff."

"Sometimes I do," Groove said with a shrug, "but it's usually futile. Rarely do I think of something that hasn't been tried already or that could ever work. We Cybertronians are pretty much set in our ways. After so many millions of years of fighting, it's starting to become all we know. It can be quite depressing to think about achieving peace and realizing there's no way around the war." He paused and looked back into the darkness. "Sometimes I don't think at all, but I don't like how I feel doing that. It makes me feel vacant."

"Actually, I can see that."

Groove smiled and stared into the flare between them. "Usually I just think about peace. Just imagine what that feeling would be like, rather than just imagining it. It would be a kind of freedom, to just whisk through life without needing to worry about snatching up a blaster when a Decepticon shows up. It's almost a meditation to think like that. It just calms me inside out and makes feel like I'm truly alive again."

"I feel more alive when I'm actually doing something. I gotta keep moving, you know."

"That's just one of the ways we differ. I feel less alive when I'm in battle than any other time. I'm deliberately destroying worlds we happen to find ourselves on and trying to harm other living beings simply because it was decided long ago that it was the only way. Despite the preaching and cajoling, I can't bring myself to feel I really matter in the fight." Groove paused. "I suppose I do, in some way; we're all important. But you can't fight without expecting a piece of your beliefs to crumble at the same time. I just can't help but feel that this is all counterproductive."

Blades shook his head. "It isn't counterproductive. We wouldn't fight if it wasn't something worth fighting for. But it is. If the Decepticons aren't stopped, no matter who tries, they'll overrun Cybertron and who knows what else. If diplomacy doesn't work, then we have to get our hands dirty."

Groove only nodded sullenly. Blades knew that Groove didn't agree with him. The two had never actually discussed such things before, but like Groove said, sometimes you can tell how someone feels. When an order to attack was given, Groove was usually the last one to stand and prepare for the attack. It disgusted Blades sometimes to think about this lethargy. What would happen if they all thought like this? The Decepticons would have won long ago. There weren't many who thought this way, that war was the problem in the first place, and once Groove was fighting there was little doubt about his bravery. Blades was always certain Groove would never run out on them. Still it seemed Groove still couldn't find any proof that what they did was right. It baffled Blades as to where this stemmed. Blades leaned forward again.

"Groove, have you ever killed anyone?"

Hundreds of emotions and thoughts seemed to rush through Groove's optics at once, punctuated by grumble of another creature far below them. Upon seeing the look on Groove's face, Blades instantly regretted asking the question.

"Hey, look, Groove, I'm sorry," he apologized. "I…I didn't have any right to ask that."

Groove gave Blades a wry smile. "Oh, it's perfectly fine. You can ask me anything you want. I may not answer every question, but considering we're on a combiner team, it can only help to understand where each comes from."

For several long minutes, both were silent staring into the flare between them. Just as Blades decided Groove was not going to answer, the latter spoke.

"Yes."

Blades started, surprised at the answer. He never expected, not for a moment, that Groove would be capable of such a thing. He was different from other warriors. He wasn't aggressive, nor was he ever angry. He was the picture of calmness even in the middle of a fight. It was almost a business-like approach to war; it was obvious to anyone that it was the one place where he wasn't happy. He was also methodical and careful. Groove may injure another if necessary, Blades never expected someone like him would ever kill.

Several minutes passed again, but Blades only waited. If Groove wanted to tell him what happened, he would. Blades wasn't about to push on a subject so obviously sensitive to the scout. Finally, Groove looked back at Blades and sighed.

"It was a while before I was selected to join the Protectobots. My scouting partner and I were on a routine patrol when we were surprised by a couple of Seekers. In retrospect, it seemed that they attacked almost in self-defense. We must have surprised them as they were returning from somewhere. Anyway, we fought for a while and my partner shot down one of the fighters. We focused on the other one, trying to get him too before the other one could come to. We didn't expect the other guy to wake up so soon. He shot my partner and killed him just as he was able to shoot off the Decepticon's railgun. I pointed my blaster at him and just looked at him.

"He was in bad shape from the crash and was completely unarmed; he lost his other railgun during the crash. He just stumbled there in front of me and I shot him in the face. The other Seeker took off. I found out why later. They were brand new warriors, just off the assembly line. They weren't ready for battle yet; all they were doing was sightseeing. They attacked on instinct, just like us. Just a survival tactic.

"After it was all done, I just walked over to the Decepticon and looked at him. Primus, he looked young. And I took his life with hardly a thought. I could have disabled him, knocked him out, but I didn't. I killed him. I haven't been able to forgive myself since."

Blades looked intently at Groove and a short time and said, "There's no reason to feel bad about it."

"And why is that," Groove asked coldly.

"This is a war. It's not like you took an innocent life. This guy took your friend's life. You did what was right. Nobody should get away with that."

Groove looked into the slowly brightening sky. "I did."

"He was a killer, Groove," Blades responded, raising his voice another level, "he got what he deserved."

"Who am I do act as judge and jury though? Who are you? Who are any of us? Where do you draw that mystical line as to what is right and what is wrong? There are just too many questions. I had other options besides killing him. Extermination is never the answer. If I were there again, if I could do it all over, I'd change it."

Blades sat and fumed. Finally, he said, "That's a pile of slag! The Decepticons run around playing Primus and we're the only ones who can stop them. It's not like they're policing themselves! If they take over Cybertron, every Autobot left on the planet is as good as dead. And that's not okay! If it's between them or us, I choose them."

Blades paused and looked deeply at Groove, who sat in the stillness with a doubting look on his face. Blades continued. "And what happens if they do conquer Cybertron? Or Earth? I mean, it's not like they're in any kind of hurry to leave Earth. If they wanted to, they could hop on that spacebridge and leave, but they don't. So what happens if they decide they want Earth, too? Or any other planet? It's not right to stand by and let others beat you into submission because you're afraid you're gonna hurt someone. Not when we're playing for the stakes that we are. We lose on Earth, or Cybertron, or where ever, we could lose it all. Our lives and our friends and our worlds could all disappear in a puff of smoke because of our indecision!"

Blades sat back and took several deep breaths and glared at Groove, who was calmly taking in what Blades was saying. "Primus, Groove, don't you ever get mad?

Groove looked calmly at Blades and said evenly, "I find when I'm mad I don't think very clearly."

Blades stared at Groove for another couple of seconds and sighed. "Look, I'm sorry again. I shouldn't've vented on you like that."

"Don't worry about it; I can understand your viewpoint. I even envy you passion." Groove picked up a stone and rolled it casually in his hand, never looking away from Blades. "This subject is a never-ending debate, Blades. There is no universal answer to how to fight this war. Primus, how do we know the Autobots aren't messing with some omnipotent being's master plan to bring peace to the universe, a plan that can only succeed if the Decepticons win?" Seeing Blades about to argue his last sentence, Groove raised his hand. "The point is we're just living life day-to-day and we don't know if everything we are doing is right. But I look at it like this: you have to ask yourself, 'what if tomorrow never comes?' If the universe ended today, would you feel pride over your actions or guilt? I can only speculate, but with your passion and drive, you'd be very proud. You've put your all into this, giving every piece of yourself. You are a model soldier who believes deeply in what you're fighting for."

Blades watched Groove as he laid back and stared at the stars that were disappearing into the growing morning light. By the matrix, he thought, this guy has thought about this. But there was one thing Blades didn't know yet. One question Groove didn't answer.

"What about you? How do you feel about it, besides that Seeker thing?"

"Hmm," Groove said, sitting back up, "looks like it's starting to get light. We should be able to get back to the surface soon." Groove looked into Blades' suddenly understanding optics. "I envy more than your passion. I envy what you are able to do for the cause. I envy that you know that you are doing the right thing. I don't. There are days, like back with that Seeker, that I feel I do too much, that I give too much of myself. Days when I think I'm taking away parts of me I cannot survive without. Sometimes, I can't help but feel I don't give enough. I simply cannot bring myself to…kill, despite the circumstances. Would I be able to it if a friend was in danger and would only survive if I did kill? I honestly don't know. And I don't know if I could live with myself either way."

Blades nodded. Groove was far more complicated than he had figured. And tortured. He wanted to say something to Groove, but he didn't know what he could possibly say. He tried anyway.

"Groove, I, uh, well--"

Groove waved his hand and smiled. "You don't have to say anything. I've thought about this many times and I really don't think I'll be changing anything I do. To be honest, I'm happy as I am right now." He looked distantly at the slowly rising sun. "That hypothetical situation always gets me though." He shrugged. "Fact of life, I guess. I can wish until I go off-line that I may feel different, but it'll never happen. This is who I am. I'd be happiest without a war at all, but I can't change the fact that one exists. All I can do is do what I can. It just so happens that you can be more proud of yourself." Groove winked and stood up. "Consider yourself lucky, kid."

Blades laughed and scooped the homing beacon into his hand. "About time we get going, eh?"

Groove smiled and watched the sun rise. "Yeah, probably. If we don't, I'll probably end up telling about the first time I ran into a femme."

Blades transformed and laughed again. "Whoa, partner, this story sounds like it has potential."

Groove echoed Blades laugh and grabbed hold for the ride up, unable to resist smiling the entire way up, as the stunning imagery of the planet cruised past him. The hands life deals you, he thought. To see a planet of such natural beauty in the middle of the war was a real treat. And, on top of that, to finally get to know a little about the member of the Protectobots that seemed to be his polar opposite. And learn that they may not be all that different on some levels. Life, he thought, could truly be good.


The End.

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